Thunderbolt

Had a horrible run this morning. This thing with my left shin area is starting to irritate. Of course, it could be that I have to get off my lazy rear and finally go buy new shoes. This weekend. Yes, this weekend, when I plan to paint Sophie's room and possibly do the 135 other house things that need to get done.

The run this morning was slooooow. And when that happens, I begin dwelling on all of the things stressing me out. I also started thinking about my next letter. I have some of my thoughts scattered on pages, but nothing organized yet. But I want to get it out within the next two weeks. When I met with Rebecca on Tuesday and I looked down at the fundraising goals they want all of the runners to reach, I sudden;y got anxious. Can I raise the kind of money I did last year? Should it matter? I mean, the goal is just to raise money and awareness, right?

That's not true. Not for me. If my goal was just to raise money and awareness, I'd just run the half marathon. No, the goal is to raise as much as I did last year. The goal is to try and get people to understand how incredibly horrible CF is.

It was ironic that I found the About A Boy Soundtrack on a friend's iTunes list. There's a track on that record that rips my heart out whenever I hear it. For some reason, it was the song I latched on to when Jake was first in the hospital. It was the track I'd listen before I went in to Children's and when I left. I would be brought to tears, crying my eyes out as I tried to navigate Sunset Blvd.

It still chokes me up.

I don't want to lose my son.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

MARATHON FOOTNOTES (for those who didn't think I would really footnote a stream of consciousness thought): Footnote #1 Academy Award Winning Best Picture Films from 1969 to the Present: Midnight Cowboy, Patton, The French Connection, The Godfather, The Sting, The Godfather II, One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, Rocky, Annie Hall, The Deer Hunter, Kramer Vs. Kramer, Ordinary People, Chariots of Fire, Gandhi, Terms of Endearment, Amadeus, Out of Africa, Platoon, The Last Emperor, Rain Man, Driving Miss Daisy, Dances With Wolves, The Silence of the Lambs, Unforgiven, Schindler’s List, Forrest Gump, Braveheart, The English Patient, Titanic, Shakespeare in Love, American Beauty, Gladiator, A Beautiful Mind, Chicago, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Footnote #2 Members of the band YES, from 1969 to the present: In 1969, Yes is formed with Jon Anderson on vocals Peter Banks on guitar, Bill Bruford on drums, Tony Kaye on keyboards and Chris Squire playing bass. This group records...

A Trip Through the "My 90's Tapes" Collection Pt. 9: Mötley Crüe, "Girls, Girls, Girls"

Column 3, Row 13: Mötley Crüe , Girls Girls Girls. I was never a big fan of Mötley Crüe. I liked their radio hits, but I never listened to one of their albums in their entirety until 1989’s Dr. Feelgood , which was orchestrated in a way to dominate radio stations and suck in casual fans, like me, who had trouble getting past the Crüe’s purposeful sleaziness. That said I always admired them more than the other Sunset Strip bands. Bassist Nikki Sixx and drummer Tommy Lee were such a formidable rhythm section and laid down a solid groove to all their music. Guitarist Mick Mars had a knack for making his guitar hiss sinister, matching his perpetual scowl. Vince Neil was nothing to write home about as a vocalist, which made his unpolished singing just a little more intriguing than most of the other front then who dominated mainstream rock in the mid-late 80’s. Girls Girls Girls was released in May of 1987, just in time for a long summer of Mötley Crüe taking over the mi...

Here We Go Again

This is what happens when I'm working on a book, or in the past a screenplay: As I become a part of the world I’m creating, all other forms of writing get relegated to the way, way back of my mind. In this case it's a new novel, a supernatural romantic comedy that's been in collecting dust in my head since the late teens. I pulled it out in March when I felt I hit an wall on the other novel I've been writing since 2020. That one is a story I’m very passionate about, tracking the life and career of a woman DJ from the 1960s through the early 1990s and the popularization of alternative rock. After five years and hundreds of pages, I needed a mental break. That's how I started working on adapting an abandoned screenplay into a book. I had to write something. Through years of therapy, I've discovered that if I'm not writing, even if it's a journal entry, I'm filled with anxiety and question my purpose. That's not to say that I feel my purpose in li...