Monday, April 28, 2008

The Great Strides walk was excellent this year. The weather was very permitting and there seemed to be a great turnout. I was so thrilled that my old friend Jay showed up with his kids an girlfriend. Although we have not hung out at all in the past years, I hope that this is the start of a friendship renewed. Mom flew out from Tucson, however Dad could not make it this year. It almost didn't feel right without him walking with us. The kids loved having their grandma visit, though. After the walk (which raised over $120K so far), everyone came over to our place. Seann lounged on the couch while the Tribe game played in the background (they won on a Victor Martinez single in the bottom of the 9th-- sweet). Meanwhile, Budd and I assembled the new basketball hoop I'd purchased the night before. I never would have thought I'd have a hoop of my own... oh wait, it's the kids'... I love just bouncing the ball around the shooting it. Kind of relaxing. The Wills and the Cruz's came over, too. I haven't seen them in some time. At one point, Vill and I did an errand to Lowe's. It just felt good to drive away with my old bud for a couple minutes and talk about nothing in particular. I miss those days of having limited responsibilities and being able to jet off at a moment's notice.

Yesterday we hung out at Budd and Karyn's pool. I am impressed with Budd. He was laid off from a shitty job that he despised and is hitting the ground running with his next plan. I don't know what we'd do if something lik that happened to me. I pray we never have to find out.

That's a hint, by the way, to watch "Flapjack" over an over again when it premieres and to rush out and purchase your very own copy of "King's Highway" this June!


Friday, April 25, 2008

Each year when the Great Strides fundraiser draws near, my heart just gets heavier and heavier as the day of the actual event inches toward us. I don't know how Julie does what she does. She is a super woman taking on all of the responsibilities that she does. I try to block it out because the moment I hear myself saying, "I'm walking for my son," I become a blubbering wreck.

I'm walking for my son.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

It's been a long week and it's only Tuesday. I'm still trying to hunt down Stults for this interview. We came close last week and it fell through. I think that the only way it's going to happen is if I find him in some bar and corner him. Alas, I shall keep trying.

Blood Brothers has fallen apart. I'm a bit disappointed, but not surprised after what I was going through with the option agreement. Tony and I still plan to try and make it ourselves. We'll see how that goes. Still, this is one that I just won't let go. There's too much of Brookshire in it to let someone else go in and fuck around with the story.

Great Strides is this week and I don't know if I'm distracted or not. I'm feeling anxious, as if I should be writing, but I can't get motivated. I'm starting to get pissed off at myself (as you can tell by the number of expletives tht are flying out of my mouth... er keyboard). Where is that drive I had years ago. The desire? Truth is, I was really inspired months ago when I came across the radio book. I should have just jumped on that train and ridden the momentum through a first draft. What the hell was I thinking?

Oh yes, I remember. I needed to write a script that would sell. So I went off and wrote a script I thought would sell and there it sits ion the fucking trash can along with one thousand other ideas I always wanted tow rite but never had the time to get to. I know that this anger and bitterness and downright disgust in myself stems, in part, from the fact that I'll have been graduated from high school 20 years this June.

Twenty years? What do I have to show for it. And don't you throw a "feature film" or a "Lifetime movie" back in my face. My goal is to write full time. Yet, I know... I KNOW. Good Christ, how I know that writing full time isn't in the cards right now.

Tears of anger are hovering around the edges of my eyes. Am I crying for my son or myself? If I say myself, I'm a selfish prick. If I say my son, then there shouldn't be any tears because the sacrifices I make for him outweigh any professional dreams or goals I may have at this point in time. It should be enough that people are reading my writing at Popdose and here at thunderbolt. It should be enough that I have some people expressing interest in working with me as a screenwriter. It should be. But I have a gaping hole in my stomach... is that my ego? Does my damn ego have a hole in it?

I am a selfish prick. I need to work on that.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Joe Borowski's meltdown aside, it has been a pretty good couple of days. Not sure where "Blood Brothers", the werewolf film, stands as far as a production right now. I refuse to sign away the creative rights to the movie, plain and simple. If I was being offered 100 thousand dollars ad a studio was fronting 20 million or more to produce my script, well hell yeah, I'd sign away. But not for a small indie movie, especially after what I went through previously.

The running is going great. My legs have new life. Seriously, no pain yet. I'm stoked about that and even imagine myself with a flat stomach someday. I know, a bit of a fantasy, but a guy can dream, can't he?

On Saturday we visited the Saugus Trail Station, which isn't a train station anymore, but a museum, and isn't even in Saugus anymore (it was moved to Newhall back in 1980). Sophie has a class assignment to learn more about Santa Clarita history. I'm pretty excited about all that she's learning, too. I think I was as thrilled as she was getting the scoop about the train station and some Santa Clarita history. Makes me want to haul out this old photo album I inherited from my grandfather after he died. The book chronicles a cross country trip taken by my great grandfather (I think) back in the early 20th century. The pictures are starting to fade, so now is the time to preserve them, I suppose. Time. Just. need. more. time.

Maybe I'll post a couple pictures every Sunday with whatever captions are attached to them.

I am still trying to get Geoff Stults for an interview. I suddenly have some hungry "October Road" fans eager for news on their favorite television show. Maybe that hunger will excite them to see a little something called "King's Highway."

Okay, I have to do some work on another thriller I'm trying o write for the manager guy.

I believe I will write a list of the stories I hope to accomplish this year. They are (in no particular order):

1. Rock band story with Joe
2. Thriller for manager guy
3. Romantic comedy
4. Horror noir comic book with my buddy Marsick
5. Kids adventure comic with Nate and Vill
6. Something....anything for the radio project!

That's it. I have to sty focused on these so that I can also keep up the Popdose writing and occasional emails and yes, entries to thunderbolt.

That's all for now.





Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Monday, April 07, 2008

Good run this morning. It was kin of tough to get going, it being Monday and all. I was wiped out all day but have found my second wind just in time to leave work and see this new artist you may have heard of. His name is Bruce Springsteen. I think he has a real future ahead of him. Going to try and get some pics at the show.


Sunday, April 06, 2008

Lately when I try to come up with a topic for these entries, I feel like a phony. Good God, what could I possibly have to say that a) has any importance considering the well written and emotional blogs out there (like this one that Julie reads daily) and b) I haven't already written about before. I mean, really, who wants to hear me gripe about my job one more time, huh? Moreover, I'm really trying o stay committed to the Popdose writing. The basement entries take a lot out of me; I'm doing my best to give them a couple of drafts before posting them. And the TV column is so new and alien to me. I'm not even sure if my opinion is worth a grain of salt.

That said, I have received an insane amount of response to an article I wrote about "October Road", ABC's series that co-starred Geoff Stults, the actor who carried King's Highway on his shoulders. That's kind of cool huh?

I am hoping that once I get into my real training for the marathon in the fall that I will have some profound, life affirming anecdotes to write about, sort of like Zen and the Art of Marathon Training Fundraising (maybe I can call a book that someday).

I'm frustrated with myself on a regular basis. I feel like a failure ninety percent of the time and I feel such a lack of inspiration that there have been times these past six months when I wonder "what was it like to feel inspired?" Has the film industry finally worn me down to the point that I just don't give a shit any more? There is a small part of me that says yes. I hate acknowledging that voice. I hate that voice, like it's the devil in my ear.

Yesterday I had an excellent end to my long run. I say "end" because my mind was not into the start of it. I slept in longer than I'm used to (I didn't run until 7:00) and my legs were tired. Luckily I had some new songs on the MP3 player (let's call it "gray matter" from now on). I downloaded the new R.E.M. single (legally... don't get your panties in a bunch) and it got me through a couple of stops. I also added the most beautiful song by Robert Plant and Alison Krauss, "Stick with me Baby". The melody is treated hauntingly and the two of them sing with such tenderness. The lyrics remind me of Julie every time. However, when I heard the song yesterday, the gravity of why I'm running this new marathon really slammed me.

I'm running for my boy.

You know, just writing that phrase makes me tear up. I'm running for my boy. That's enough to give me an extra push when I'm feeling low. And when I attack those hills, the phrase that keeps coming out of my mouth in a guttural growl is "fuck you, cystic fibrosis."

Springsteen is tomorrow night. I'm pretty damn stoked, let me tell you. I hope to sneak our camera in and take a few snapshots. I know you're all waiting with baited breath.


Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Sorry I've been out of commission. I have been writing, but for Popdose. I figure that by the time I begin my marathon training in full force, I'll make a better effort to keep daily updates.

It's late and I have to get up at 5 tomorrow. We've been neck deep in fundraising activities. Actually, it is Julie who is neck deep. I'm more like calf deep. The school fundraiser raised over $3000! How about that! A small school of about 200 students just went out and kicked some ass. I love it. I am so damn proud of the hrd work Juli did to bring the Cure Finders fundraiser together at Emblem School. Hopefully the school will do this every year.

Julie's sister, Michelle, and her two great kids, JF and Gretchen, are flying in tomorrow night. They haven't been to our house since 2001. We're pretty excited. But the house will never be ready in time. That blows. Not that we haven't tried to tidy up and make things neater. Time, man, it works against you sometimes, you know what I mean?

Oh, Sophie began tennis lessons this week. She loved it.

Man, I keep writing this blog and I keep wondering who reads it. So bizarre, The more people I learn have blogs (better writers than me, by far) the more self conscious I become. Eh, whatever. I need to get my 100 or so words written a day and this as good a way as any.

Gotta go.