Monday, November 08, 2004

It’s the day after my 20-mile run and I’m both content and a little worried. I finished this run feeling better than I did after last year’s long run, but I still have the same fears I had back then. At one point yesterday I questioned how I was ever going to complete the marathon. Part of these doubts stemmed from the sudden change in weather, and part was from the psychological games I was playing on myself.

I was running in the Santa Clarita Marathon. Originally registered for the half marathon, I ran those first 13.1 miles at a 3/1 pace. It was a comfortable enough run, a little slower than what I did in San Francisco, but I was trying to save some energy for the last portion of my run. Luckily, the course was around our neighborhood, so I knew where I had to go in order to pick up the last 7 miles of my run.

I had my MP3 player filled with 5 hours of music (and let me tell you, I thought it would be easy to come up with 83 songs to run to… it wasn’t). The weather was great. And best of all, Julie and the kids met up with me around my 14th mile to cheer me on. I felt like I was going to cruise through the latter part. But, by mile 17, the weather turned dreary fast. It got cold and it began to drizzle. That’s when my knees started to lock up and my hip started to ache. By mile 19, I was headed for a turn around and I passed what was my mile 20 marker. The last mile took forever. I kept thinking the end was near… for a good 20 minutes.

Still, I came away feeling satisfied that this run was done. I’ve decided to take this week off to recover and allow myself some time to catch up on some writing. There is only a month left until the marathon and despite my fears yesterday, I know I’ll finish this marathon. There were a couple of times during the race in which I nearly broke out in tears. Some of the songs I selected (in particular a Badly Drawn Boy track from the ABOUT A BOY soundtrack) gave me inspiration and reminded me of why I’m doing this run. I know I shouldn’t need reminding, but when you’re out there and your muscles are killing you, sometimes that little spiritual kick keeps you going.

I regret that I did not write last week. I was depressed over the election outcome. I have said that I don’t want this to be a political blog, but I have held back and I know it has kept me from being as open as I like. I think it’s obvious which way I vote. I have been pretty liberal for a number of years and this particular election has really brought out that side of me. Those of you who know me must realize that I am for equality for everyone and that we need to help our poor and unfortunate. Love thy neighbor as they brother is the saying and I take that to heart. With our family situation, I know this to be so true. With strangers and family members helping us out during various hardships in the past three years, I would feel like a hypocrite if I did not try to send some of that good will back out into the world.

I do not feel that this current administration has those same intentions. Although they preach it, I do not see it in their actions. And I am not close-minded about this. I have spoken to numerous Republicans and heard what they have to say. I have made an attempt to hear their fears and beliefs in an attempt to understand where they’re coming from. Some of those people are in my own immediate family. Do I resent them for what they believe? No. Have I tried to sway them into what I believe? Sure. And they have done the same to me. These are not heated arguments, though, merely exchanges of ideas. Our country was founded on free thought and the exchange of ideas. Too much lately, though, it’s either one side or the other. I had hopes that this election would mark a change in tone and direction the country was headed. Sadly, I do not feel this will happen. Some of you may feel differently. I would love to hear your thoughts.

On a positive note, though, Proposition 71 here in California passed. This was a controversial Stem-Cell research proposition that would open California up to doing more stem cell research. We do not know what the future holds and what cures may be found through stem cells, but as a parent with a child who has a life threatening illness, I am in favor of this type of research.

That’s all for now.


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