Friday, March 24, 2006

It's been a long week. Trying to find time to write on the blog is something I'm going to have to schedule and not try to do when I feel "inspired". There are three writing projects I'm involved with right now. Just saying that tightens my chest a little. People are actually coming to me to write with me. What if I let them down? Just have to keep reminding myself of that Springsteen concert. Did I talk about this already?

Springsteen told a tale about visiting the great Roy Orbison before he died. Roy was working on a song about a wind surfer girl. Bruce smiled and said "Cool." but in his head he was thinking, "Wind surfing? I don't think so." Well, the song came out posthumously on Roy's "Mystery Girl" album and it's a really great song. And Bruce admitted that he was wrong. Then he said, "Just goes to show you that you have to have faith in your abilities."

Amen, brother.

I have to keep reminding myself that I know what I'm doing. It's easy to forget. You work so long at something and seem to fail at it (i.e. getting people to take you seriously) that when you finally achieve your goal, you have to fight through those feelings of self doubt and loathing. Plus, getting through the first draft is brutal. You don't want to judge yourself, but you can't help but think that with every words you write, you're a hack and it's all crap that you're putting down on paper. At least, that's the kind of shit I have to work through.

Oh, we found out that our good friends the Cruz' and Julie's sister, Sue< are having their third children. It's been weird digesting this news. I now that Jules has struggled with it a little, maybe more than she'll admit to me. The fact that we're not going to have a nother baby is sad. We decided that we didn't want to risk having another child with CF. Maybe for me, it's a little easier because I'll never know the awesome feeling of having another life grow inside of me. But for Jules... she loved being pregnant.

Anyway, I'm rambling. It's getting a little late and I need to get back to work. I hope anyone who reads this finds a little peace tonight.


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