Thunderbolt

It was Jacob's first week of school and, as usual, I have been suppressing my fears about him attending school. My stomach is in knots and I can't focus at work. I'm not sure when this transformation occurred in me in which I could no longer express my fears and I became more like my father. Is it some kind of genetic coding in the Malchus make up that at age 30 or so you begin to clam up? There is already so much anxiety about leaving your kid at school to begin with that when you add in all of the CF issues, you're talking about some major shit to deal with. I went with him the first three days and it was pretty rough. He screamed, "Don't leave me!" as Julie and I left the building. Heartbreaking. I was fighting back tears the first day. I think it's been harder on Jules than me, though. Jacob has been home with here for almost four years straight. That's a big part of her day that will be missing. I know we're glad that he's g...

I've been away most of the summer, I know. I guess I've been questioning the whole point of me keeping this blog. There are much better writers out there and I'm not sure who even keeps track of Thunderbolt. But a few weeks ago I was cleaning the garage and I found the only consistent journal I've ever kept. Back when Sophie was in the womb I wrote every day in two Mead, college rule composition books as a record of her first 9 months of existence. Man, it was pretty confessional. So confessional that I'm unsure I want her ever to read it. Anyway, I was proud that I'd disciplined myself to make an entry each night. I felt like a writer. Not that I haven't been writing the past three or four months when I was making sporadic entries to Thunderbolt. I think this year has been the year I've work hardest on my craft. So far it seems to be paying off. Where am I going with all of this...? Oh yeah. I'm committing myself to this blog again. I ha...