Today is the little guy's 6th birthday. There are so many issues in our life right now that it would be easy to get crushed under the weight of daily stress. But on a day like today6, I'm reminded of what is so right in our lives. This boy, this miracle that laughs and dances, gets pissed and throws dramatic tantrums, and who is full of so much joy and love, this boy is what is right.
The day he was born is so vague to me now. I have more vivid memories of the days following his birth. The time in the NICU. The moments of confusion when the doctors said they were gong to perform surgery, then they weren't, then they decided to fly him to UCLA by helicopter for the surgery after all. I'll never forget that weekend spent in UCLA where he was placed next to children much older than him and in much worse physical shape.
I'll never forget the doctor releasing him to us and finally driving home from UCLA all the way back to Santa Clarita. Through all of the turmoil and fear, there was still optimism that everything was going to be okay.
Maybe I'm a fool for saying this, but everything is okay. I know Jake has to take a lot of medicines. I know that from the outside it may appear that he's one sick little boy. But he isn't. Jake is a normal little boy who loves his mommy and daddy and his big sister, Wo-Wo. He's a normal little boy that who loves 'Ben 10' and 'Teen Titans'. He's a normal little boy that loves Springsteen. Maybe I did that to him, but you get the point.
I take that back. I am not a fool. Everything is okay.
This morning in the shower, as I stood there half awake, shaving, I thought about how just before Jake was born, I questioned how someone could love two children equally, but not the same. Before Jake was born, I didn't think I'd have room in my heart for a another child like I did for Sophie. As soon as I held him in my arms for the first time, I realized it was possible. I realized that your heart has many compartments and each child fits into those different compartments in their own unique way. I can hang out with Jake in a different way than I can with Sophie. We have bonded in a different way than Sophie and I did. And that's the way it's supposed to be.