Skip to main content
This whole Twitter thing has got me all jittery, as if I'm supposed to be blabbering my thoughts on the Internet every 10 minutes or so. Do people really want to know when I'm sitting in the can taking a dump and what I'm reading there (usually Entertainment Weekly or Rolling Stone)? Sometimes I wonder if the whole Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Blogger thing has given the world TOO much information. Perhaps that's why it's been so hard to come up with something to say lately. I pour my heart into the Basement Songs and after that, I wonder, who gives a shit, Malchus?

I don't know. I do know that things have been hard with Jake these days. He's healthy, but there are some emotional things going on that bear down on us. I'm not going into the intimate details because Jake is 7 and that's not fair to air out what he's going through. But for me, it's just been like I walking that fine edge again, where I teeter between sanity and wanting to curl into a ball under my work desk and cry for a good ten or fifteen minutes. Unlike two years ago, I seem to have a handle on it. Plus, I've been writing, so that is giving me an avenue to express my emotions.

What have I been writing, you ask? Well, I finished the GD script I was working on for a good seven months. Man, did that one drain me. It's a dark story and I just started feeling like I didn't want to work in that corner of my mind right now. I committed myself to finishing it and that's what I did, albeit, two months later than I wanted.

So it's on to something I've been excited about doing for about five months and I'm feeling inspired. I'm not going to talk about what I'm doing because I don't want to ruin my mojo.

It’s strange to be trying to keep the blog regular again. I’m feeling out of practice, if that makes sense.

Aloha

PS- Daylight Savings time? Can't we get rid of that already? It's killing me.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MARATHON FOOTNOTES (for those who didn't think I would really footnote a stream of consciousness thought): Footnote #1 Academy Award Winning Best Picture Films from 1969 to the Present: Midnight Cowboy, Patton, The French Connection, The Godfather, The Sting, The Godfather II, One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, Rocky, Annie Hall, The Deer Hunter, Kramer Vs. Kramer, Ordinary People, Chariots of Fire, Gandhi, Terms of Endearment, Amadeus, Out of Africa, Platoon, The Last Emperor, Rain Man, Driving Miss Daisy, Dances With Wolves, The Silence of the Lambs, Unforgiven, Schindler’s List, Forrest Gump, Braveheart, The English Patient, Titanic, Shakespeare in Love, American Beauty, Gladiator, A Beautiful Mind, Chicago, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Footnote #2 Members of the band YES, from 1969 to the present: In 1969, Yes is formed with Jon Anderson on vocals Peter Banks on guitar, Bill Bruford on drums, Tony Kaye on keyboards and Chris Squire playing bass. This group records
42 comments
Read more

The Beginning of an Explanation

When I dropped off of the Internet, it wasn't meant to be a years long sabbatical. I thought I just needed a break; that I was getting burned out from writing Basement Songs and movie reviews for Popdose.com. Something cracked, though, and I couldn't consider writing even in a journal for a very long time. Things changed in the winter of 2017. While driving to pick up Jacob at theater rehearsal, I experienced my first panic attack. It started immediately after he got in the car at the theater and it slowly took over my body for the fifteen minute drive home. My skin became clammy and I felt myself removed from my body. My brain was empty and I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. I gutted it out until we walked through the front door. Without saying a word, I went upstairs, crawled into bed and got in the fetal position. I just wanted to close my eyes and shut out the world. The next morning I awoke exhausted, as if I'd exercised the previous day. That was the first time
3 comments
Read more

The End of the Explanation

I don't want to drag this out for a series of extended posts; there's no need to go into the minute details. So I'll wrap up my ongoing mental health journey with this post. After I basically quit writing, I began the work on myself. From 2017 to the middle of 2019, the only things I wrote were 10 minute dramas for our church, and let me tell you, even those were a challenge. But when God gives you a deadline, you don't mess around. There was a real depression that came with the relief of not writing or worrying about writing scripts. Again, if I wasn't writing, what was I doing? I really struggled with this question because we had moved from Ohio to Los Angeles so I could pursue a career in film. Even though I'd written and directed a movie, and sold a script, in my mind that wasn't good enough. I couldn't appreciate all of the great things in my life, and the solid career that I had forged in animation over 18 years. It took some real work: a lot o
Post a Comment
Read more