I was forwarded a link to some CF blogs by Julie and was blown away by the grace and strength these people, CF patients, write about their lives and what they have gone through. When I read something like that I wonder what, if any, purpose my little blog has in this world. For a time I felt like I was expressing the experiences of a CF parent, but for nearly a year now I have been reluctant to keep regular posts. Part of the reason is fear of sounding whiny. I want to sound strong for my son, yet most of the time I end up speaking about the sadness I deal with and the elephant whenever it rears its head.
The elephant tried to show up on Thanksgiving Day, but I drove it away, mostly through conversation and Jameson's and the company of family. Jameson's is dangerous, I tell you. It's smooth going down and before you now it, you're smashed. Anyway, the elephant loomed all weekend, waiting to pounce, but I managed to keep it together.
See, that's what I mean by sounding whiny. Am I expressing anything new here? Am I helping people understand? I don't know.
Another thing I worry about is telling too much information. As the kids get older, their lives should remain personal, don't you think?
What I should do is take the time to talk about the book and that whole process. At least it would be documented somewhere so my kids could look it up after I kicked te bucket.
"Hey Jake, here's the story of how dad wrote his first book."
"Dad wrote a book?"
"Yeah, it's that think you use to keep the bookshelf balanced."
"Dad wrote that?"
Just kidding. Sophie's been so supportive, believe it or not, she even came up with a cover idea that is actually pretty cool. We'll see what happens.