Thunderbolt

Last week was kind of crazy, thus there were no posts. I slipped into facial hair mode for the book and really dedicated myself to getting some chapters done. I haven't grown a beard to write in a while and for a couple of days it was worth it. I know Julie hates it, but I was feeling like an "artist." Besides the long nights writing, we were prepping for the Cure finders walk at the kids school that took place on Friday. Each year this is an emotional day as you stand around and watch 300 kids walk around the school cheering to find a cure for CF, and it's all because of your son. Even writing that sentence gets me a little misty eyed. As the week went on, Julie sent out her CF letter and I finally wrote mine. I realized this weekend that I didn't write a letter last year. I think Julie wrote it and we sent it out, but I didn't give much thought to it. When I don't write my own letter I somehow don't feel as connected with the fundraising. I'm gla...

I've been in a funk all day. This morning there was an honor roll assembly and we attended because Sophie, once again, made honor roll. After the awards were handed out some announcements were made, including one about the CF fundraiser next week. For the third year i a row the kids' school will raise money all week for the CF Foundation, concluding with a mini-walk on Friday. For me it is always makes me very sad when I hear people talking about combating a deadly disease and that "a child at out school has cystic fibrosis" and that child is mine. I sat still, fighting back tears while Julie addressed the parents throughout the room. After that, I couldn't shake the sadness all day. Even now, at 10:25 PM, I can still feel the lingering effects of this morning and all I want to do is sob my eyes out. I have watched Julie do so much and I feel inadequate in her presence. All I've ever done is run. Perhaps that's why I am toying with the idea of doing a 10K ...

Julie has just about completed this year's Team Jacob Great Strides video. She has done a wonderful job editing photos and some short video clips together. Jacob wanted to use Springsteen's "Working on a Dream" as the song plain underneath the video and I think that it makes it very powerful. This afternoon was rough for Jules and the kids as Sophie started watching the video and lost it. In school today she was asked to talk to her class about CF and even though she was reluctant to stand up in front of her classmates, she did it anyway. Watching the video with Julie made her sad and she began crying after just a couple clips. Sophie is one of the brightest kids I know. At any time she could look up some info on CF and I am afraid that she will be overwhelmed with the information out there. I know we should talk to her soon, but when is the right time? Additionally, and Julie has pointed this out to me a couple of times, it would be a huge burden for Sophie to carry ...

I've spent a good portion of my day typing revised pages from the book. Why is it that I think that most of the stuff I write is crap? Do all writers suffer the same lack of self-confidence? Well, not all do. I read an enlightening article about Nicholas Sparks that pretty much said that he's full of himself. Then again, the guy makes a shitload of money selling books and those books get made into successful movies. My goal in the coming weeks is to complete the latest revision of the book without getting sidetracked. Each time I set aside time to work on it, something comes up and weeks go by before I'm able to jump back in. Still, the most important thing right now is to complete a new CF fundraising video and start asking for donations for this year's Great Strides. Some families have been at it since February and are already doing so well. I always feel like we're behind and I always feel pressure to raise a lot of money. The years in which we don't raise a ...

Why is it that my bones creak every time I get off the couch. Ugh. Sophie and I watched the second Harry Potter movie tonight and it was... okay. Better than the first, but the pacing was still slow and at 2 hours and 40 minutes, there could have been some additional edits that would have erased those awkward pauses when the kids were getting fed a line reading. Sophie liked, though, which is the most important thing, so I shouldn't whine. Progress is being made on the book revision. It took me a couple of weeks to write new chapters that will open the novel. Unlike 90% of the original draft, which were based on a screenplay I wrote 15 years ago (man, has it been that long?), these new chapters were entirely new material, so it took a little longer to feel comfortable with the writing and confident in what I wrote. I don't know what I'm so worried about because I know I'm just going to rewrite them again before submitting them to be read. Man, this is a great and crazy...

During my first year at BGSU, I saw two motion pictures within a span of nine months that shook me to my core. When I entered college I thought I was in touch with my faith, even considering the possibility of becoming a minister. Movies won out, though. Click here to read the rest.

Toward the end of last year Sophie and I began a journey into the wonderful world of Harry Potter. I was surprised that she would want to read any of the books in the series as she has always shown an aversion to scary subject matter. However, she quickly fell in love with Harry, Hermione and Ron. Ron is her favorite. I had never read any of the books, either. When the craze began Sophie was not even born; and by the time the movies started getting made, she was too young to go see them. I am not a big fantasy reader, so my desire was nil and since the first two movies were directed by a director I find rather, er, bland, I never had a desire to see them, either. When Sophie tore through the first book, I decided we should read them together and then see each movie after the two of us had finished a book. We both completed the first book before Christmas and watched the movie after we returned from Ohio. Soph then sped through the second book and has been waiting patiently while I mad...

I used to love the Academy Awards when I was in college through the early years of our marriage. I dreamed of walking up on that stage someday and having an acceptance speech ready. I imagined what it would be like to thank my friends and family and then be able to look out into the audience and see Julie's huge smile and bright blue eyes that would have stood out in a room full of fake smiles. There would have been tears (because I'm a crybaby); I would have thanked my parents and possibly recounted the VCR story. And then our lives would have changed for the better. We wouldn't have had to worry about anything. That all changed when we moved up here and Jacob was diagnosed with CF. The priorities changed and being popular wasn't as important as making sure we had health care and that Jacob and Sophie remained healthy. In essence, I compromised. And I would do it again in a second. I watched the Academy Awards tonight and I did not feel the pangs of envy or the desire ...

and that number is 20,000. I figure that once I have 20,000 songs on my iPod, I will settle in and listen to the device without adding anything new for a good couple of months. Only 3,000 songs to go. I need help. Did you miss me?