Thunderbolt

It was Jacob's first week of school and, as usual, I have been suppressing my fears about him attending school. My stomach is in knots and I can't focus at work. I'm not sure when this transformation occurred in me in which I could no longer express my fears and I became more like my father. Is it some kind of genetic coding in the Malchus make up that at age 30 or so you begin to clam up? There is already so much anxiety about leaving your kid at school to begin with that when you add in all of the CF issues, you're talking about some major shit to deal with. I went with him the first three days and it was pretty rough. He screamed, "Don't leave me!" as Julie and I left the building. Heartbreaking. I was fighting back tears the first day. I think it's been harder on Jules than me, though. Jacob has been home with here for almost four years straight. That's a big part of her day that will be missing. I know we're glad that he's g...

I've been away most of the summer, I know. I guess I've been questioning the whole point of me keeping this blog. There are much better writers out there and I'm not sure who even keeps track of Thunderbolt. But a few weeks ago I was cleaning the garage and I found the only consistent journal I've ever kept. Back when Sophie was in the womb I wrote every day in two Mead, college rule composition books as a record of her first 9 months of existence. Man, it was pretty confessional. So confessional that I'm unsure I want her ever to read it. Anyway, I was proud that I'd disciplined myself to make an entry each night. I felt like a writer. Not that I haven't been writing the past three or four months when I was making sporadic entries to Thunderbolt. I think this year has been the year I've work hardest on my craft. So far it seems to be paying off. Where am I going with all of this...? Oh yeah. I'm committing myself to this blog again. I ha...

Believe it or not, I had every intention of writing a post on the artistry of Paul Giamati today, but then I got the news that an old friend had passed away and Paul got placed on the backburner. I bring up Giamati because friend, Jeff Dillon, was very much like the characters Giamati has become famous for playing. A little sad. Funny. Sometimes trying to hard. But generally a good egg to be around and someone who will be missed. Jeff (or Dill as we called him) was a guy I met in Boy Scouts back when I was in 5th Grade. We got along fine back then, but it was in high school that we became friends. And then, after high school, while working on the NOHS summer paint crew, Jeff and I became compadres. The two of us could really get under the other's skin. Probably because we had similar sensibilities, but I remember many occasions when he or I would storm away from each other, ready to kill each other. It would only take 15-20 minutes before we realized how damn stupid we we...

Have to give a shout out to one of my favorite sites out there, Jefitoblog, a phenomenal music website that provides some excellent selections of music for readers. I was first introduced to the site some time last year when EW online mentioned Jeff’s “Idiot’s Guide to Hall and Oates”. I thought it was a joke at first. I mean, who would devote more than a couple of sentences to Daryl and John? As I read his breakdown of each of their albums, I realized that Jeff wasn’t making fun of Philly’s sons, but offering a real criticism of their catalog. This is something that would never happen at Rolling Stone or any of the other BIG music sources. As I came back to the site every day, I discovered that here was a guy who loves music. He GETS music. And that’s what he’s writing about. It’s not about who is the most appreciated and deserves the accolades. Sure, he covers Springsteen and the like, but it’s also about the gut and the heart. That’s why groups like Styx, Toto. Bruce Hor...

And so I return. Another great weekend. The pool has turned out to be a fantastic idea. Did I tell you we got a pool? I was so resistant to the idea. I love that lawn. But the joy that water brings to our kids is better than any patch of grass in the world. Seann came for dinner tonight. It was good to see him again. The kids will likely not see him for a month or so. I had Sophie pretty much guilt him into driving up for some hamburgers. God bless him, he’s a good uncle and can’t say “no” to his niece and nephew. Speaking of Jake, man, I felt like the lowest of low yesterday. While Sophie and Jules were at a party, I took Jake to see the new “Garfield” movie. We get about 500 yards from the theater (and 15 minutes from start time) and I realized I didn’t have the damn enzymes. We had to drive all the way home and back again. Wouldn’t you know it, the line to buy tickets was ridiculously long (it WAS 100 degrees… so everyone was at the movies) and we missed the first 10 mi...

I've been gone a month and this is the best I could come up with? Actaully, the man has been working on a scrennplay. I finished it last week and when all is said and done, the tone of the script owes a lot to my (now cancelled) favorite drama, "Everwood" Television still seems to get a bad rap among people I know. Probably because so much of it is disposable and forgotten soon after the set is switched off. But the emergence of “The Sopranos” as one of the most significant works of art in the last 10 years has really made a lot of folks reconsider the craftsmanship that goes into television. I’m a TV junkie. I grew up on it, rarely going to the movies. That I chose to become a screenwriter had more to do with watching movies on a VCR than actually getting into the theater. I would love to someday have my own series, primarily because I enjoy GOOD television. And since we started subscribing to TiVo, well, I ONLY watch good television. This past week "Everw...

My heart is breaking right now. I can't help thinking about Matt's final day and his struggle with his bulemia and whatever other disorders he was suffering from. After my converation with Elliott last night, it feels like he wanted it to end. I'll never know for certain, but Elliott mentioned this. And if he was in pain, so much pain, from starving, from depression, from his body breaking down, from needles, it is likely that he may have given in. And this is the saddest fact that I am having to accept. That a man who was so full of life had become complacent and ready to give up. But I will never know. I said once that I thought he was slowly discommunicating himself with all of the people he loved. but Elliott insists that he still talked about our friendship. Maybe it's guilt I'm feeling. The grayness the skies this morning and the dim lighting in the office have put me in a mood. And I've begun haning posters for the CF walk, seeking donations. I ...