Wednesday, June 23, 2004

I have to say, some of my better ideas come to me late. Better late than never, though. I went out and purchase a knee support last night for my troublesome right knee. On my run this morning I couldn't really concentrate on what I was supposed to be accomplishing. I believe you could call it a junk run. I was so concerned about whether the knee support would do any good that I was distracted.

By the end of the day, I was full of energy, looking forward to tomorrow's run and I'm glad to report that the knee feels good. That is the most positive thing to happen in my training in the past month.

I must admit, I am a little nervous that my body will not permit me to complete the marathon this year. I am full of fears about the future of my legs. I hear of so many people having to have surgery on their knees, even having them replaced. I know from Julie's mom's experience that knee replacement is VERY painful. And the thought of not being able to run and use the marathon as a fund raising method really got me depressed yesterday.

I look at Julie an all that she does for Jacob during the day. She gives him all of his treatments and takes him to all of his doctor appointments. True, I have to work. But at least with the marathon I feel as if I am contributing to the battle. I know there will be other fund raising activities. But this one... the challenge of running 26 miles... and using that to inspire people to contribute... that is thrilling to me. And it makes me feel like I'm out there making a difference.

Perhaps this is too egocentric of me. But when I feel the aches and pains from along run I feel as if I can go on and face another day without breaking down and crying over Jake's CF. Believe me, there are so many days when I'm driving to work and I get that pain in my sinuses.... and I can feel the tears welling up. But I can control that when I think... I'm doing something.

I'm putting myself through this ordeal and I'm making a difference. We can win this battle... if only my legs hold up.

I need to run. I need the marathon. It gives me something to strive for. And it gives me hope. Hope in my friends and family. Hope in my fellow man. And hope that we're going to beat this disease.


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