Skip to main content

Happy Birthday, my dear friend...

Today would have been Matt's 37th birthday. Funny how I could always remember his birthday. I think it had something to do with the fact that it was so close to my dad's. We never really "celebrated" our birthdays. We would usually get each other a book and sign some corny inscription inside it. One year, Matt bought me Stephen King's "IT" and wrote a simple inscription, something like "To my best friend Scott. Someday you're going to be as good a writer as this guy. Your friend, Matt".

Several years ago I was cleaning out the bookshelves and I donated that book to Goodwill. I had never gotten past that inscription. I wasn't really into King anymore, but I held on to that massive tome for a long time. I am sure it was during the last years when the two of us weren't speaking that I gave away the book. I wish I had it now.

Back when we were freshmen in college, Matt wrote me this letter.

Sept. 14, 1988

Dear Scott,

Hey, Dude! How's it going? God,
this college life is great! I just got done
studying for about five hours tonight, and I
thought I'd write you.

My classes are pretty cool, and my poetry
class is awesome! The prof's not quite
as cool as J.D., though. I joined a "Free
Nelson Mandela" activist group, and am
really getting involved in a lot of stuff.
It's really cool. I haven't been to any parties
yet, but everybody here seems really fun.

How are things with you? Cool, I hope.
I hope things with Lisa are still semi-
cool (no fights by mail, right?), and I'm
sure band is going good.

I got a job working ten hours a week
at the campus library, so I'll get some
spending money that way, I hope.

Our room is pretty cool- a bit sparse,
but livable. We got our refrigerator, and
I guess everything's going all right.
There's some cool record stores down here
and the town is great.

In case you were wondering, my
address is 220 Read Hall, Ohio University,
Athens, Ohio 45701, and my phone number
is (614) 597-9747- I hope to hear
from you soon.

I really miss you, and Lindsay
(although her parents might let her come
here next year- that would be awesome!),
and a very few things about N.O., but
I'm gettin' by.

Well, I'm really pooped, so I think I'll
cruise, but you fuckin' better write me
soon, Guido! Take care and stay Scott,
you hear? And keep writin' those
screenplays!!!

Love,
Matt

P.S. It's a town full of losers and
I'm pullin' out of here to win,
because tramps like us- baby, we
were born to run!


Two things struck me after reading this letter: How much Matt loved commas; and how much I still miss him.


Happy Birthday, Matt. R.I.P.


Aloha

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

MARATHON FOOTNOTES (for those who didn't think I would really footnote a stream of consciousness thought): Footnote #1 Academy Award Winning Best Picture Films from 1969 to the Present: Midnight Cowboy, Patton, The French Connection, The Godfather, The Sting, The Godfather II, One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, Rocky, Annie Hall, The Deer Hunter, Kramer Vs. Kramer, Ordinary People, Chariots of Fire, Gandhi, Terms of Endearment, Amadeus, Out of Africa, Platoon, The Last Emperor, Rain Man, Driving Miss Daisy, Dances With Wolves, The Silence of the Lambs, Unforgiven, Schindler’s List, Forrest Gump, Braveheart, The English Patient, Titanic, Shakespeare in Love, American Beauty, Gladiator, A Beautiful Mind, Chicago, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Footnote #2 Members of the band YES, from 1969 to the present: In 1969, Yes is formed with Jon Anderson on vocals Peter Banks on guitar, Bill Bruford on drums, Tony Kaye on keyboards and Chris Squire playing bass. This group records

The Beginning of an Explanation

When I dropped off of the Internet, it wasn't meant to be a years long sabbatical. I thought I just needed a break; that I was getting burned out from writing Basement Songs and movie reviews for Popdose.com. Something cracked, though, and I couldn't consider writing even in a journal for a very long time. Things changed in the winter of 2017. While driving to pick up Jacob at theater rehearsal, I experienced my first panic attack. It started immediately after he got in the car at the theater and it slowly took over my body for the fifteen minute drive home. My skin became clammy and I felt myself removed from my body. My brain was empty and I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. I gutted it out until we walked through the front door. Without saying a word, I went upstairs, crawled into bed and got in the fetal position. I just wanted to close my eyes and shut out the world. The next morning I awoke exhausted, as if I'd exercised the previous day. That was the first time

The End of the Explanation

I don't want to drag this out for a series of extended posts; there's no need to go into the minute details. So I'll wrap up my ongoing mental health journey with this post. After I basically quit writing, I began the work on myself. From 2017 to the middle of 2019, the only things I wrote were 10 minute dramas for our church, and let me tell you, even those were a challenge. But when God gives you a deadline, you don't mess around. There was a real depression that came with the relief of not writing or worrying about writing scripts. Again, if I wasn't writing, what was I doing? I really struggled with this question because we had moved from Ohio to Los Angeles so I could pursue a career in film. Even though I'd written and directed a movie, and sold a script, in my mind that wasn't good enough. I couldn't appreciate all of the great things in my life, and the solid career that I had forged in animation over 18 years. It took some real work: a lot o