Thunderbolt

(Our home computer is acting kind of funky... and not the Isaac Hayes "Shut your mouth/Just talkin' 'bout Shaft" kind of funky... so I wrote this one out long hand for Saturday. SM) Saturday 9/27/03 Easy 10 this morning. It wasn't easy last night. My stomach was turning because I was so anxious about the run. Were my legs going to hurt? Would I be able to make it without my feet flaring up? That nervousness carried over to this morning. Got up, got out of bed, ran my hair across my head. Went to the kitchen and I made myself an egg, opened the newspaper and I went into a dream... (Ahhhhhh, ahhh ahhh ahh, ah ah ahhhh ahhhhhh ah ah ahhhhh.... BUM BUMBUM BUM BUMP!) Okay, enough Beatles. It was freezing this morning, like, Ohio embarrassing THO cold. It took awhile to warm up, about 2 miles or so. But the run was good-- no, great, especially the last three miles. After struggling to find my stride, low and behold it decided to make an appearance! And best ...

It's back... In the CD Player this week: Don Henley, "End of the Innocence" (at least, until I got to the 2nd side and I got sick of his slick, cynical singing. Jeez, Don, you make a lot of money, don't whine so much) Linda Ronstadt & Emmylou Harris "Western Wall, the Tucson Sessions" (featuring some awesome harmonies by these two pioneering women of country/rock music) Billy Squier, "Don't Say No" (C'mon.... who doesn’t love the Bill-ster. "Lonely is the night...") The Kinks, "The Ultimate Kinks Collection" (I don't know about the title of this one. It's sorely missing some of their later 70's and early 80's radio hits. But, it DOES have "Ape man", "Don't Forget To Dance", "Living On A Thin Line" and "Victoria" all included here. Pretty good collection, but really, isn't it about time someone puts out a Kinks box set?) Bruce Springsteen & The E...

So, we took Jake to a gastro-intestinal doctor this past Wednesday and they're trying to determine how much he is absorbing and mal-absorbing. The doctor told us to basically give him anything he'll eat... French Fries...are they back to being called French Fries?...Pizza... milk shakes. This basically contradicts what our old Nutritionist from Children's Hospital told us. However, I've learned that almost all of these doctors contradict the other doctors. It's like no one is really sure what the right answer is. It's frustrating, to say the least. But, the nature of the disease is that it's different t for everyone who has it. Some cases are so mild, people aren't even aware they have CF. True Story: We met a couple who have triplets, 2 of which were diagnosed with CF. This couple had had difficulty conceiving, but felt blessed to have their children. Obviously, both parents carried the CF gene, but what the father did not know (nor was he ever...

So I just gave the doctor a call and I see him tomorrow morning. Let's see if this can help. You know, one of the things I think a bout a lot is how this blog has really gotten me reacquainted with some old friends. Take Jeff, for instance. I haven't seen the guy since, wow, probably since 1988. Yet, we've reconnected because he started reading the blog and he wanted to offer support for my training and fundraising. I think that's the thing that keeps me going. I know there are many people out there who have my back on this one. And that is something I use when I'm running. I need anything I can get. This morning was the first time I thought, "I can't wait until this marathon thing is over." As the days are getting shorter, it feels like I'm spending less time with the kids, especially in the mornings, as my runs are getting longer. And now that I have to hang out at work later... well, it sucks. I come home and I'm beat from the horre...

50 minute run this morning. I took my "standard" course, which takes me through my neighborhood, down Bouquet to Newhall, then up McBean to the bike trail that runs parallel to Creekside, the road with every single car dealership you can think of. Then I hit Valencia Blvd. Let me tell you, that's the worst stretch of the run. You're running against traffic, so you get all of this wind resistance, and on top of that, there are a lot of trucks and buses that pass by. Yummy, exhaust fumes. Finally, it's back down Bouquet and into the neighborhood for a walk home. The mornings are starting to get harder. I'm really wracking my brains trying to figure out what I can do to make these early runs easier. I'm stretching after my runs. I'm trying to hydrate myself regularly. There just seems to be so much stuff going on in my head and the fun isn't there like it was a couple of months ago. My friend Jeff (Marsick) suggested I check out a chiroprac...

This morning proved to be one of those mornings that was more rewarding after I completed the run. About halfway through it, though, I was ready to throw in the towel, again. I took the DeCoro hill in an attempt to do a full 60-minute run. Halfway up the hill, I swear I was going to keel over. My body is really beginning to feel the change in season. I never really paid attention to it, but this year it's like I can't avoid the Fall's pull. I'm tired and my legs can feel the weather starting to shift. It's those old football injuries. No seriously, stop laughing. I really did play football when I was a kid. Played right up to the first game of my freshman year of high school. I knew I was going to quit after that year. There were several factors involved: 1. I had stopped growing and suddenly I wasn't taller than everyone, I was shorter... and skinnier. I wasn't going to survive. 2. I was going to have to choose between football and marching ban...

Oh yeah. I saw an interesting documentary last night called "Hell House". This church in Texas outs on a haunted house each year in which they depict every day "horrors" for thousands of paying customers. Among their scare tactics are abortion, homosexuality, drugs and suicide. I hardly agree with what they're trying to preach because I wouldn't call it compassionate (especially their views on homosexuality). However, the film itself is very well done and compelling in that it zeroes in on one particular family and shows how Christianity pulled them through some rough times (a single/divorced father raising four kids, including two that are disabled... now that's a noble). It's available through Netflix (which is an awesome website). S

Sunday night. I just wrote some 500 words and somehow deleted it. DAMN! Let's try this again, shall we. Yesterday I ran 12 miles. I was really hurting by the end of the run. My feet were killing me and my legs were really tired. If this is what it's like after just 12... I can't imagine the full marathon. I have some serious questions I need to answer in the next week. First thing I'm going to do is look into new insoles for my shoes. That's a start at least. Don't know if it was switching from the 3/1 to the 4/1 halfway through, or it was my down mental state, but the end was hard. VERY HARD. This was the first time running that I actually questioned whether I was going to be able to complete this thing. And that doubt has had me pretty upset. I have a lot going on in my head right now. I feel like there are like all these people wanting something right now. Someone wants this written, and someone wants this other thing put together, plus work, and...

Overslept this morning. Guess I was a little more exhausted than I thought yesterday. Went to bed early, too. Tomorrow I'll do a light run and some cross training, maybe some yoga. Kind of a sad day today. My co-workers last day. It'd be different if she were leaving for a new job. That'd be a happy occasion. But as it is, she was laid off. And with her leaving, it only makes me think that my job may be over soon, as well. When I think about the 5 years I've been at this one PLACE, and that I've seen the same faces for all of that time. There are people who have known me since Sophie was an infant and who were there when Jacob was born. And the women in this department I work in, well, they were the first people I turned to when I hung up the phone with Julie the day we found out about the CF. They’ll be forever etched in my mind and heart because of that. Kind of like knowing where you were on Sept. 11 or the day the jury came in for the OJ trial. I look ar...

Trying not to fall behind on the blog. Woke up and ran an easy 40 on Monday, pushed myself a little harder than usual, but it felt good. Took the day off yesterday, as scheduled. Did some ADR editing last night after work and didn't get home until 1:00am. Yesterday was a bit of a drag because I learned that KH was rejected from that Ohio Film Festival I felt so confident about. I just don't get what they're looking for. But, Ryan and Tony both have people interested in seeing it (i.e. distributors) so we have that going for us. Now, we just have to reload it into the computer. See, there was a minor technical glitch the other night and the final edit was erased from our hard drive. Vill was having a heart attack, but I stayed relatively calm as I realized we still had the DV master. Today I still got up at 5:30 and ran for 50 minutes. I'll tell ya, it's getting pretty darn cold in the mornings! The run started off pretty rough (let's face it, I was tired...

The weekend: Ran 6 miles on Saturday morning. I ran with two people from the City of Hope team. They ran at a little bit of a slower pace than me, but it was nice to meet new people. They did not know what CF is and how it affected its victims, so at least I was able to pass along some information. These two folks were running 8 miles, so I turned around at mile 3. On the way back, I went for a negative spilt and pushed myself. I didn't make it back any faster, but it was still.... refreshing, I guess is the word, to work it without anyone else around and no headphones on. The rest of the day Saturday was spent hanging out. We went to the Cruz' for Rebecca's birthday party, and Budd took me to this classic car show the city of Saugus was holding. I didn't think I'd really enjoy looking at old hot rods, but I really dug looking into late 60's, early 70's Chevys (Chevelle). Budd said I could easily find the money to buy myself one of these cars. I said...

Final Friday notes... Steve gave me a call late (for me) Friday night. We had a wonderful heart to heart. We hung up around midnight, three in the morning his time! I miss him. Someday, when the kids are older, I want to go get Mom and Dad's old Apache trailer and drive around the country, stopping off in many of the locations where we have family. We could stop in Colorado (though, Heidi and George may be living in Arizona by then) and make our way through the south (Florida, Alabama, Georgia and North Carolina). The end of the trip would take us into Ohio (of course). Steve and his family are embarking on a vacation, but the incoming Hurricane/Tropical Storm may cause delay. Hope you guys stay try. Aloha.

Follow-up for Friday... Got home from work and was greeted by a package from Brian McMahon, old college roommate. Brian and I met freshman year when we were both in the bass drum section together (there were only four of us). That friendship carried over into Kappa Kappa Psi, in which both of us didn't take anything too seriously, and then into our sophomore year when Brian came on board to live with Dan, Brad, Hurley and myself. I have to say that throughout college, I was closer to Dan than I was to anyone else. But Brian is of Irish and Italian heritage, so once you're in good with him... well, let's just say he takes the word "brotherhood" to heart. Brian and I have grown closer since graduation and our move out here. He came to visit once and that was great. The one thing that really touched me occurred last year at Bob's wedding. During the reception, he took me outside on to the streets of Cleveland and wanted to know how we (Jules and the family...

Sorry I didn't write yesterday. I ran a good 4 1/2 miles in the morning and even felt up enough to lift some weights while Sophie was doing some artwork at the kitchen table. All before 7:00 am. The rest of the day was typical up and down for me. Work was pretty mellow, but then I learned that KH wasns't accepted to another film festival. I shouldn't be depressed, but when people keep telling me they like it and we can?t get our foot in the door anywhere?. Sheesh. I would have written an entry last night but I didn't get home until close to 1:00am. We did one last ADR session (I swear) and I had a meeting with Ryan and the director of the horror movie they want me to write. Got home, fed the cats, went to bed. This morning was one of those mornings in which I felt guilty leaving the house. Not because Jules was making me feel that way. Hardly. Instead, I just feel crappy when I come home late at night and then have to get up and rush to work the next morning. I...

Ran 55 minutes this morning and decided to take that Decoro hill again. They say that Decoro Hill is one bad mother fu---- shut your mouth. Just talkin’ ‘bout the Decoro hill. We can dig it. Okay, enough with the Shaft references. The run was a good one. Started out with a 4/1 ratio and worked my way into a 5/1 by the end of the run. I really got a lot out of running with Robert last week. It was great picking his mind for the 2 hours we were on the road. Got some bad news about Rebecca. Her foot injury is worse than we expected and she won’t be running with us for the next three weeks. She’s still determined to run the marathon, though. That takes guts. My friend Wes, who is running for AIDS LA, has also been getting over a leg injury. It’s pretty cool when we get on the phone and we don’t talk about work or animation. To actually have an interest in running that someone else has, and to be able to give information back and forth, I find that pretty cool. Talked with Cous...

What ever good feelings we had going into the weekend were pretty much gone by last night as we both tried to get to sleep and deal with our ongoing concerns with living as parents of a child with CF. This nagging fear of what we’d do if I lose my job and how we’d manage care for Jacob (let alone Sophie) has created a pretty good size pit in my stomach. And Julie was just plain sick of waiting for the results of Jake’s culture and blood tests which we should receive this coming Friday. We went to church twice yesterday. One was the regular service, the second, in the evening, was for “Rally” day, basically a social gathering they have each year to kind of get families back in the habit of going to church. Going to church is something I’ve been doing more out of habit and out of a search for answers. I have been done a spiritually challenged road ever since Jacob was born. I have questioned why God would inflict such a horrible disease on an innocent child. I have never been satis...

10 miles this morning. We met down at the Marina and, with just a group of four; we took off on our course. It was great with the small group because Robert, our coach, ran the 10 with us. It was cool to hear what he had to say and to be able to keep his pace. We finished under 2 hours, which I think is pretty darn good. I didn't have enough for breakfast, though, and I was starving by the time we completed the run. Besides having a larger breakfast, I'm going to begin bringing something to graze on during the long run, raisins or nuts or a Power Bar. Running on a different surface was a new challenge as well. On the Pasadena course, we're on a good mix of sand, dirt and asphalt. Down by the beach, it's all asphalt. My legs were pretty tired by the end. I also believe that skipping my cross train day yesterday affected my performance as well. This is something I have to keep in mind as we get closer to the marathon. Some sort of workout for my legs will be v...

Ran 4 miles yesterday. My legs were like logs, tired from pushing myself so hard on Wednesday. But I don't regret it. I like having at least one hard day in my training. Makes me feel like I'm really working it. I took the Decoro hill, that one I wrote about a month ago. It's killer going up, but I know it will help out for the marathon. Didn't do anything this morning. No weights. No bike. No yoga. The body ached and I knew it didn't want to do anything. So, I listened. Tomorrow we're running at a different course, down by the marina. We're supposed to run 10 miles. On one hand, it will be cool not to have to take the treacherous hills of the Pasadena course (which we never end up running, just walking); on the other hand, not knowing the course adds something of a mental burden that can be very taxing. Steve's folks sent a nice donation and a wonderful letter that I received yesterday. I'm about $450 from my goal. I can't believe...

Ran a hard 4 miles this morning. It felt good. Having those 3 days to sleep in had an effect on my body, though; I couldn't get up at 5:30 when the clock went off. Woke up at 6:15 and ran without anything in my stomach. I don't know whether that was too smart, but I found myself pushing harder just to get home and eat something. Not having a great day overall. Don’t know what my deal is, I'm in a funk today. I feel like my world is passing me by, that I'm stuck where I am and that I'll never achieve the kind of success I've always dreamed about. Why do I get this way? I just wish I could sit back and say "Hey, you made a movie that's been well received." But then I think, "But people in Maine can't see it and it doesn't get into any festivals." I should be able to sit back and say, "I have two wonderful children, a wife who loves me, and I have a steady job." But it doesn't have anything to do with that. ...

Labor Day. I’ll be honest, I’m not sure what this holiday is all about, but I appreciate the day off. Ran 40 easy minutes this morning. Slept in a little, though. It has been nice having a couple of days in which I didn’t have to rise at the crack of dawn. I don’t run tomorrow, so that will make three days in a row. I’m trying to get back into my limited weight training routine. Pushups, situps, some curls and rows. Nothing monumental, but enough to provide some additional power when comes time to get through the last six miles. I heard somewhere that a marathon is only a six mile run… the last six miles. After my run we went out for breakfast at the local IHOP about a mile away from us. When we were explaining to Sophie where we were going to eat, Jules said, “Remember when we went to the beach (Santa Barbara) and we went out to breakfast with the pancakes? It’s that place.” Sophie replied, “But that’s a long drive.” She’s so smart. The rest of the day was spent with, yes, ...