Skip to main content
Labor Day. I’ll be honest, I’m not sure what this holiday is all about, but I appreciate the day off.



Ran 40 easy minutes this morning. Slept in a little, though. It has been nice having a couple of days in which I didn’t have to rise at the crack of dawn. I don’t run tomorrow, so that will make three days in a row. I’m trying to get back into my limited weight training routine. Pushups, situps, some curls and rows. Nothing monumental, but enough to provide some additional power when comes time to get through the last six miles. I heard somewhere that a marathon is only a six mile run… the last six miles.



After my run we went out for breakfast at the local IHOP about a mile away from us. When we were explaining to Sophie where we were going to eat, Jules said, “Remember when we went to the beach (Santa Barbara) and we went out to breakfast with the pancakes? It’s that place.”



Sophie replied, “But that’s a long drive.”



She’s so smart.



The rest of the day was spent with, yes, that frickin’ screen door I’m trying to get up. My neighbor, Larry, came over and spent two hours with me sanding and planning the damn thing. Then, Vill helped me chip away space for the hinges. I didn’t feel like I accomplished much.



Maybe I’m too hard on myself. Two weeks ago, during the 8 miles run, Beth (my teammate) told me I was too hard on myself. And she’s only known me for, like, a month. Am I?



I get restless. I expect to accomplish so much, and I feel like time is running out.



Jake has an appointment at the CF clinic tomorrow.



S

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

MARATHON FOOTNOTES (for those who didn't think I would really footnote a stream of consciousness thought): Footnote #1 Academy Award Winning Best Picture Films from 1969 to the Present: Midnight Cowboy, Patton, The French Connection, The Godfather, The Sting, The Godfather II, One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, Rocky, Annie Hall, The Deer Hunter, Kramer Vs. Kramer, Ordinary People, Chariots of Fire, Gandhi, Terms of Endearment, Amadeus, Out of Africa, Platoon, The Last Emperor, Rain Man, Driving Miss Daisy, Dances With Wolves, The Silence of the Lambs, Unforgiven, Schindler’s List, Forrest Gump, Braveheart, The English Patient, Titanic, Shakespeare in Love, American Beauty, Gladiator, A Beautiful Mind, Chicago, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Footnote #2 Members of the band YES, from 1969 to the present: In 1969, Yes is formed with Jon Anderson on vocals Peter Banks on guitar, Bill Bruford on drums, Tony Kaye on keyboards and Chris Squire playing bass. This group records

The Beginning of an Explanation

When I dropped off of the Internet, it wasn't meant to be a years long sabbatical. I thought I just needed a break; that I was getting burned out from writing Basement Songs and movie reviews for Popdose.com. Something cracked, though, and I couldn't consider writing even in a journal for a very long time. Things changed in the winter of 2017. While driving to pick up Jacob at theater rehearsal, I experienced my first panic attack. It started immediately after he got in the car at the theater and it slowly took over my body for the fifteen minute drive home. My skin became clammy and I felt myself removed from my body. My brain was empty and I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. I gutted it out until we walked through the front door. Without saying a word, I went upstairs, crawled into bed and got in the fetal position. I just wanted to close my eyes and shut out the world. The next morning I awoke exhausted, as if I'd exercised the previous day. That was the first time

The End of the Explanation

I don't want to drag this out for a series of extended posts; there's no need to go into the minute details. So I'll wrap up my ongoing mental health journey with this post. After I basically quit writing, I began the work on myself. From 2017 to the middle of 2019, the only things I wrote were 10 minute dramas for our church, and let me tell you, even those were a challenge. But when God gives you a deadline, you don't mess around. There was a real depression that came with the relief of not writing or worrying about writing scripts. Again, if I wasn't writing, what was I doing? I really struggled with this question because we had moved from Ohio to Los Angeles so I could pursue a career in film. Even though I'd written and directed a movie, and sold a script, in my mind that wasn't good enough. I couldn't appreciate all of the great things in my life, and the solid career that I had forged in animation over 18 years. It took some real work: a lot o