Thursday, October 07, 2004

I was listening to the radio this morning and the commentators were broadcasting from Columbus, Ohio. They were speaking to John Glenn as he drove from Cleveland back to Columbus. And at that moment, I was in Ohio, in a car driving down 71. I could feel the hot sun through the windshield that made me want to take off my coat, and maybe open the window a crack, but not too much because there was already a frigid chill in the air. I could see the gold and red leaves along the highway and the brick buildings that were built up on either side of the roads. And there weren’t a lot of cars. It was normal traffic. You drive 65 miles per hour and you get somewhere. The time it takes to get from Cleveland to Columbus is, sometimes, the same amount of time it takes me to drive the 30 miles it takes to get to work.

This sudden wave of feelings stopped me in my tracks. I was there. I wanted to be there.

For about five minutes I thought, this is a sign. Should we move back to Ohio?

Now I sit in my office, and I’m struggling to find meaning in what I’m doing. What am I doing with my life? Does everyone go through this torment? Am I being too dramatic?

Have to put these thoughts out of my head. I know what I’m doing with my life. And the most important job at hand is being a good father and trying to set a good example for those kids.

Anyone who is interested, there is a new pic on the donation site of the kids and me. Julie and I both have wanted a new picture for a while. I don’t like singling out Jake in our battle against CF. It’s a family fight. One we will win together.


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