It’s an obsession. You’re driving down the street and you begin to wonder how many miles it is from this street sign to the traffic light. How long would it take to run up that long hill near your daughter’s school? And you think about how cool it will be when you actually do run that hill. You worry about getting new shoes and when you’ll be able to afford them. You question the strength of you knee and back not because you’re worried about being able to walk in ten years, but because you’re worried about finishing the run. You’re bummed when your MP3 player finally breaks down because you look forward to the blending of reality (running) and what’s going on in your head as you listen to those songs. Weights star to pop back into your head and you contemplate pulling out the dumbbells one more time. Along with those 40 crunches you do each morning, the Yoga tape suddenly get dusted off. And then there’s what you eat. You make goals for yourself. Limited coffee. No cream (yeah right). No Coke (a tough one, but doable). Not too many snacks and more fruit in your diet (because there are few vegetable your really like). The run becomes a part of your life. It is an obsession.
It’s an obsession. How many enzymes did I just give him? Is that enough? What if he eats less than I gave him? What if he eats more? I wish he’d eat more because I really want him to gain weight. What exactly is he eating? Chips again? Can’t he eat a yogurt instead? Speaking of yogurt, how can one kid put down four Gogurts at once? Why doesn’t he like more foods? Eat your spaghetti. You have to eat it, we just gave you enzymes. You need to eat that food. It will help you grow. He’s drinking milk again. I know it’s good for him, but doesn’t he need something solid in his tummy. You’re so glad that the enzymes situation seems to have been figured out. It took 3 and a half years. But he now seems to be gaining weight on a regular basis. You worry about how much fat is in everything. And when you do something knuckleheaded like going to McDonald’s without the enzymes, you feel like a terrible parent. Shouldn’t I know better by now? What’s the matter with me? It’s all you think about when you’re making dinner or serving a snack. You want to be completely in the moment, but there’s always that little voice, calculating the number of enzymes. It is an obsession.