Wednesday, March 19, 2008

A good run this morning. I really felt strong, though I had some discomfort in the knee. Yeah, the same damn place. One of these days I should probably see a doctor (No, Scott, why would you want to do that?). Anyway, I thought I could get in 40 minutes. I ran farther than I have in previous mornings, and I still came in at 33 minutes. That's a good sign, huh? Means I'm starting to get some endurance back.

Having a bit a of difficult morning. Sick of CF bullshit. I'm angry and I don't know where to place that anger. I guess it will all go into the running. Finding myself listening to Crowded House again, that's not a good sign. Last year, when I was at my lowest Crowded House was all that I listened to. I shouldn't have watched some of the CF videos on You Tube, it only made me cry. Can you imagine? Can you imagine sitting with your child while they fight for their life through a double lung transplant?

Gotta keep my spirits high, though. I'm just feeling sorry for myself as I'm not the one living with the disease. Jacob is the one who has to endure those god damn vest treatments and the nebulizer treatments.

I keep hearing the words of Obama from his speech yesterday. My God, was that a magnificent moment or what? There was on passage that replays in my head:

"And it means taking full responsibility for own lives - by demanding more from our fathers, and spending more time with our children, and reading to them, and teaching them that while they may face challenges and discrimination in their own lives, they must never succumb to despair or cynicism; they must always believe that they can write their own destiny."

I will continue to try and inspire my own kids and instill in them hope and optimism.


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