Saturday, January 28, 2006

Post for Thursday, 1/26/06

The problem with technology is that it sometimes takes a dump on you. Case in point, we lost phone service on Thursday and there was no way to connect to the Internet. I know your jaw must be on the ground by now thinking "how could they NOT have DSL?" But, for some reason, affordable DSL has not reached our little neighborhood. And the fact that our phone company couldn't tell us when our land line would be back up and running was equally frustrating. Originally they gave us a five day window.


No wonder they're losing business to cellular phone companies.

Anyway, I did write on Thursday. Here is what I was going to post:

Just spent the past hour and a half writing eight pages of material that is darker than anything I've ever written before. Not just horror movie dark, but uncomfortable in your own skin dark. Am I just trying to be provocative and cause a stir like SAW or HOSTEL? Or am I working out some sick issues I have floating around in my head. Where is this coming from? What region of my brain?

I'm afraid to answer that. I have read things and seen things that are disturbing enough that I didn't have to really make the stuff up. But is it worth writing it? Am I creating anything artistic? And does that matter? That's the really sad thing. I'm not sure I want to know the answer to that one.

Truth is, people aren't going to be watching this horror movie because it was written well. That's just an added bonus, right? We know what they really want. Some blood. Some breasts. Some scares. All of which is out of my hands.

I've been a little apprehensive about starting this script. Maybe it was this scene that has been holding me back. Now that I'm done and I can say, I'm writing the script, perhaps I won't procrastinate any more. It shouldn't take me that long to write this script. Maybe that's what's stopping me. Ego.

Do I really think I'm that good a writer?

My ego thinks so, but others would beg to differ. Otherwise, why have I has so much difficulty finding representation. Why were the last two scripts I wrote rejected, even though I felt they were strong work? Ego.

As I was mid-sentence of this grotesque scene, Jake came over to give me a hug goodnight. He walked two steps, paused, and then came back for a second hug with a huge grin on his face. I can't tell you how dirty I felt, writing this scene while my son was standing close by. This isn't something I want him to see, ever. Maybe TG will cut it. Or RJ will hate it and want it gone, too.

Should I cut it? Am I over reacting? Will I ever stop asking questions like this?

Not tonight.


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